In respons to my former blog post I got a very interesting question from my friend and fellow MasterMinder Dana Boyle: what do you do when two people in a situation together experience things vastly different?
One thing is knowing and understanding that we are all different, unique individuals and that, as we all see life through each our own “filter”, we experience the “same” situation differently.
Another thing is how to handle it, when the other person insists that you are wrong and he is right!
I find myself telling other people about this filter and its consequences more and more often. And most people do seem to get it.
And I know it has made a huge difference in my love relationship. Things got so much easier when I stopped believing that hubby was wrong and I was right! It simply ended my need to change him. And luckily he gets it too, so it has also worked the other way around (although I must admit he didn’t try to change me nearly as much as I did him!).
Often it’s enough for me just to know, that we have different truths. I don’t need others to agree with me. They can have their truth and I can have mine. I even find myself appreciating the diversity more and more and I think it makes life more exciting.
However, I must also admit that I feel less and less comfortable spending time with people who insist that they are right and I am wrong. That doesn’t feel good to me any more.
Sometimes I actually feel a bit sorry for them, thinking that they are making life unneccesarily difficult for themselves – and for others! But at the same time I clearly tend to spend less time with them.
And sometimes the result is, that we go our separate ways, cause that feels best to me!
This post was originally published on my former blog on April 7, 2010