How to handle negative emotions the smart and easy way!

by Pernille Madsen

I recently learned this 4-step process from the fabulous Communion of Light on how to deal with negative thoughts and emotions.

This process is very simple and easy – and freaking powerful. To me it feels like a missing link!

It consists of 4 steps, and it brings you from feeling negative to focusing on what you want in a very short time!

It goes like this: 

  1. Acknowledge the negative feeling
  2. Accept the feeling; “it’s OK that I’m feeling this negative feeling”
  3. What I want is this
  4. Repeat as required

 Let me give you an example. Let’s pretend I’m worrying about paying my bills. Then the process goes like this: 

  1. Acknowledge the negative feeling
    - I’m worried about paying my bills
    - I don’t have enough money in my account and I’m worried I will not be able to pay all my bills this month
    - I hate worrying about money and I’m sick and tired of being in this situation
  2. Accept the feeling – be OK with it
    – it’s OK that I’m worrying about money
    - it’s OK that I hate worrying about money
    - it’s OK that I’m sick and tired of being in this situation
    Continue this acceptance talk until you feel relief!
    Sometimes you won’t feel OK with worrying, in stead you might feel additional frustration, because you know that worrying about money is not helping improve your money vibe. In this case, just step back one level and feel your way into being OK with that.
    - it’s OK that I’m frustrated about worrying about money
    - it’s OK that I’m not OK with worrying about money

    Sometimes you have to step back several levels until you find the relief
    Sometimes you’ll find it right away, in seconds
    As soon as you feel the relief, move on to step 3
  3. What I want is …
    - to feel good about money
    - to feel safe and secure, etc
    Now you are giving your attention to what you want instead :)If new contrast arises (negative thoughts and emotions), move on to step 4 
  4. Repeat as required

    Take the “new” negative emotion to step 1 and start all over again 

With a little practice, this process will help you get from negative emotion to focusing on what you want in seconds!

As I see it, this is soooo powerful.

Actually, as I see it, if you know this process, you don’t need to know much else in order to be a powerful deliberate creator :)

Petecito July 6, 2012 at 4:31 am

Nice write-up Pernille and something we can all do with being reminded of.

I see the real kicker here is ‘As soon as you feel the relief, move on to step 3′. Don’t go to step 3 before – it’ll be too painful – and once you feel the relief, go painting the picture of the rest of your life. I spent a lot of time aiming for and stopping at relief without designing the rest of my life. Naturally I got really good at finding relief and my life didn’t change until I did the step 3!

Pernille July 6, 2012 at 9:01 am

You are so right, Petecito, first the relief, then the designing of the future experience – that is what makes this process so awesome and so powerful.

Most people either skip the relief and goes directly to the designing part (which is often painful and not very effective) or they stop at the relief (which feels better but does not change much).

Thank you for stopping by and especially for commenting :-)

Alexandria Barker August 8, 2012 at 5:59 pm

Hi, loved this call on GVU, glad you also posted a blog about it, which I shared! Thanks very much!
In Light

Pernille August 10, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Thanks for your kind words, Alexandria, and for sharing my blog post :-)

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